the weather channel...

this is one of those things that i could never really understand before. back even before i decided to do triathlons in 2004 and around the time i started mountain biking in 2000, waking up to the weather channel was my FAVORITE thing. i remember telling my mountain biking girlfriend about it at the time and her thinking it was kinda weird but cute. well, at some point during me and fiancee's relationship i stopped watching the weather channel. in fact i couldn't recall WHY i liked it or what feelings it gave me that i wanted to in the first place. i'd be like "i remember liking this but for the life of me i don't know why"

yesterday morning i remembered. more importantly i felt like i did back then. i'm sure by now you figured out why i watched it and why i stopped. it's simple. i was a mountain biker first and a triathlete second. both of those activities are shaped by what the weather will be like that day. so watching the weather channel was my way of figuring out what my day was going to look like. was it going to be a rest day, gym workout day, open water swim, pool swim etc. people with active outdoor lifestyles watch the weather!!! plain and simple, if you're unconcerned about the weather, you don't have an active outdoor lifestyle.

i'm saying this as further proof that the inside me is back to 2004 but the outside me is fat and outta shape. as long as the inside me is back the outside will shape itself to fit in time.

-twc dominator

riding more...

in one week i went from not riding since 2/2011 to riding 10 miles. not bad, but not close to satisfied either. my brain and body are wired for competition. my brain knows what i'm capable of when i lose the weight. my body, as of now, isn't really cooperating. i try to only weigh myself once a week but it looks like another week where i don't lose much. i'm riding more and eating less junk than i did last week but i'm still eating too much fat.

that said, i have replaced all the items i could with their low fat counterparts. examples are turkey sausage, egg whites, low fat cheese etc. i have started to pack my lunches in the 1 cup size containers. this really helps portion control seeing as how it's the size of my stomach. friday i could start having raw veggies and solid meat. so i had thai spring rolls for dinner last night. one my absolute favorites. i plan on having steak at some point this weekend too. well "some" steak LOL...

i got a new toy, my garmin forerunner 910xt... i love it. plus it motivates me to workout more. my arms hurt big time after the dumbbell workout so i haven't done weights since last sunday. now that i'm healed, AND it's supposed to rain today, i'll be doing weights today. my journey's not a sprint but a marathon...

-dominator

just a pound...

(4 weeks post op) only a pound?!? yes, only a pound. this is no surprise to me at this point because i know what i've been shoving down my gullet. mostly healthy stuff but enough (15% or so) of "off the reservation" foods. again, i aint gonna get into specifics. this hammers home the point that you really need to ingest quality foods and get close to full on them. that way you won't feel hungry. i recall one of the required classes talked about how people got into trouble not eating enough. since your stomach is only 1 cup/8 oz then filling it with a can of tuna is a good thing!!! at it will prevent you from feeling hungry later. really it's just a matter of how much protein you're eating on how satisfied you feel. or at least it is for me.

on the workout front, off day today (or go swim if i can't stop myself). the nether regions need to get used to riding again so that's the reason for me not even doing a slow ride today. we'll just leave it at that LOL. other than that everything seems to going well.

weight 327.2 lbs...

-uno pound dominator

dominator rides, again and again...

first ride since feb 2011... well, as expected my ass hurts LOL. but i honestly feel better than i thought i would. and since i haven't taken any pain meds in 3 weeks my endorphins are kicking in making me WANT to ride.

i rode yesterday for a short 3 miles around the neighborhood. why so short? well i wanted to be able to work out any mechanical issues so i didn't want to go too far. also, it was mostly for me to gauge how my body would feel afterwards. so how did it feel???

i rode today for 7 miles at river legacy. it was all flat but i wanted to get used to "putting in some saddle time". my kuat bike rack makes it super quick to load up the bike and drive down there. it's only 1.8 miles but there is a 10% grade hill between me and there. which i haven't been able to climb on my road bike since i crossed the 300lbs mark (not on any bike since 315lbs). 

i'll post my official one month weight tomorrow. it's not going to be all that impressive mostly because i haven't been the best eater the last week. i can eat just about anything now and have been doing just a little bit too much "testing". however, my rides have felt great because i have enough calories to make it through. i am also doing weights 3 times a week to re-build my muscle mass i lost over the last 6 years. i'll be holding off on the swimming for a while. in fact i probably won't start that until january when i start seriously training for my tri in march... oh, did mention i'll be doing a tri in march??? i guess i just did.

-on the road again dominator

gettin my swole on...

i did put the bike rack on the car but i haven't used it yet. i was seriously thinking about starting with weights at the gym because it reduces the amount contact pressure i feel. then i realized i have those clicky bowflex dumbbell thingys. you know the adjustable weight kind. AND i have a bench, a nice one, so i just decided to try that. so i woke up at 4:45am, like i do every morning these days, cleaned up the den enough to assemble a "make-shift" gym. then proceeded to do some reps. just arms for now so i can limit the pain to one body part at a time.

why weights first? contact pressure. it's the pressure you feel at your contact points with surfaces holding you up against gravity. for a bike that is your hands, feet, and saddle area. trying to make it through a work day with that stuff hurting is no fun. AT ALL. so i decided to limit the pain to stuff that will go away after you get in shape. muscle pain vs joint pain.

one more important realization i made yesterday. now that my internals are feeling a whole lot better and i'm eating "solid-like" food. i can see how people gain the weight back. the stomach is smaller so what these guys are doing is filling it full of crap, waiting a little while, then more crap. this will not be ME. i had some fries the other day (like 10 of them) and honestly i have no idea why i liked them before. this just proves to me the longer you're off the crap food the less you crave it. but like any addict, all it takes is for you to keep doing it and you're right back where you started.

-all swole dominator

time to sweat...

(3 weeks post op) getting closer to working out. the biggest thing for me is making sure i don't work out until i eat solid food. mostly because advil, which i'll need, goes down better when there's food in your tummy. also, i'm able to drink 5oz of water at time with no problems. this is the more important thing. being able able to properly hydrate is crucial to not hurting yourself cuz it cuts down on cramping and pulled muscles. 

i am leaning towards the bike being the first thing. even though the pool is only a 7 min drive, you have to gear up, drive, swim, change, then drive and shower. i'd rather just gear up then ride from my house or drive 5 mins to bike path. i'm putting the bike rack back on today. stay tuned.

-ready to sweat dominator

shrinkage...

(20 days post op) yesterday i went to Dick's to buy some new shorts. why? because my old ones are too loose. on monday i can have eggs, oatmeal and tuna so i decided to do that starting yesterday LOL. had a busy day that started with an americana (coffee) and ended at 2am LOL. i went to walmart to buy new food, then to the eye dr. then hung out at the Duck and ate some huevos rancheros. went shopping with my dad for some stuff at gnc, then headed out to dicks that night. i haven't been that productive on a saturday in years.

i guess the weight is coming off at a decent rate but i won't be happy or even satisfied until i'm sub 300.

weight 328.2lbs (almost 17lbs lost)

-dominator

context is king...

the back story: i was leaving for lunch yesterday when i saw 2 guys coming back from wendys. they both had 32oz drinks and a bag of food. i thought to myself it would take me almost 2 hours to tackle the drink alone, not to mention whatever "deep fried easy" was in the bag. so lets just say 4 hours total to make it through what they'll down in 30mins tops. just suck on that for a minute.

without the surgery i have NO IDEA how i would ever be able to see how poor the quality/quantity of food was. it's all just white noise, eat this, don't eat that. with only about 5oz of space i have now and with 30 to 45 mins for that to pass through, you REALLY evaluate everything you swallow. the surgery was a life saver in more than one way. to think i make through my day eating about 700 calories and don't feel hungry or tired is CRAZYTOWN.

with 700 calories but packed with protein is how that's possible. it's about the quality of the food not the quantity if you want to have energy and not feel hungry. trust me on this. the main point is "context is king". 

if you don't have context it's hard for things to resonate. on that note, i started eating a little solid food. still not going to share because it's against dr's orders.  i'll be shopping for things to eat today. i don't think i mentioned this before but i drink water constantly ALL DAY. since you can't just down a bottle of water whenever you feel like it you have to keep drinking all day. it seems like a lot of work but honestly it's a lifestyle change. without the surgery you'd have to do things drastic like this to make an immediate change in your health. it's brave new world kinda stuff.

-in context dominator

work pains...

right now the biggest thing is PAIN. because i'm fat (for the moment) gravity is reeking havoc on my lower body. knees, ankles, feet, quads, calves just throb when i get home. i'm not supposed to take nsaids like advil but i'm limiting it to once a day to sleep. i haven't taken a prescription anything in two weeks, and my brain is the benefactor. the guy that trained for ironmen is back wondering what happened the last six years and why he's so fat. i keep reminding that guy, he'll get his body back but it will be slow and steady.

which brings me to my next point. swimming. i think i'll start swimming again next weekend. until my scabs are gone i can't go swimming. i think when they are gone i'll start. it's zero impact and it will help strengthen my body which is incredibly weak. good news is that it's only 2 days till the weekend. i cannot wait.

-workin 4 the weekend dominator

my lil buddy...

i just realized i never talk about the thing that requires my attention everyday, my lil buddy Griffen. himz is my kitty kat. i named him after my tri bike, which i loved so much i named my cat after it. so i have a walking, meowing, reason to get back into triathlons again.

i griff griff was born somewhere around cinco de mayo in 2008 so i just call it himz birthday. he's a ragamuffin kitty which means he really likes people. only problem is unless i trick him into meeting you, he'll hide. that's my fault, for not socializing him sooner. the benefit though is when i take him places he'll just sit in his carrier and look at everyone around him. he never tries to leave, and he lets anybody pet him as long as he doesn't have to leave the carrier.

he was sort of a gift from my ex when we lived together. but honestly i think she got him to be a friend to her cat. he gravitated to me and followed my voice around the house. he didn't with her even though we both fed him and played with him. so when she booked she asked if she could have him. my response "fuck no, he's MY cat" and for the first time in my entire life i realized i loved an animal. i mean really loved him. i had pets growing up but i always treated them like toys i had to feed and clean up after. but griffen was different. lucky for me, because he helped me though some tough times.

you get home and these crystal blue eyes are looking at you like you're the most important person in the world. it makes your day better for sure.

-kat daddy dominator

already been said...

more and more i feel like it's time to act. enough talking. however, my body is saying something different. "slow yo roll" so, that's what i'll keep telling myself.

-nuff said dominator

back to the future...

(2 weeks post op) unless you knew me in 2006 (when my profile pic was taken), then you have NO IDEA, who i am now. my brain chemistry is completely different. i mean, the things that were important to me just a month ago, don't mean anything to me now. i was preoccupied with things that basically kept me busy but not really accomplished anything. i didn't want to ride, workout or even stand for that matter. now i have a crazy amount of energy in comparison. i have to keep telling myself i was operating at 50% capacity before (only with the help of meds) and now i'm at about 70% with NO MEDS.

i'm back to work, which is going ok. i'm not hungry, and have been sipping on water throughout the morning. i think i will sleep well tonight.

one thing i keep thinking when i see someone that is obese (like the lady i saw in the elevator this morning) is... "why don't you get the surgery too" life as a fat person is not that joy filled. there is no excuse for it. being fat is a self-control and emotional issue, plain and simple. knock those both out with the surgery. you can't overeat ever again no matter what the reason!!! your life will be shortened if you keep killing yourself slowly by overeating. yes, your stomach will be smaller, and you'll have to forever change the way you eat, but............ISN'T THAT THE F*CKIN POINT....... you're eating yourself to death!!!

obesity is a "modern society" problem, and bariatric surgery is a "modern society solution to a modern society problem". it's philosophically a no-brainer. the awesome thing about me having the surgery and someone with "will power" is that i come out ahead in the long run, every time. will power only works if you have the will. i have the "power" irrespective of will. my body will fill full with only 6oz of food, not for mr. will power. my body produces far less hunger hormones, not for mr. will power. it's not possible for me to overeat PERIOD, i win, you lose, thanks for playing.

what's the point in all this? it's that, for an obese person, the surgery is a life saver. bottom line. part of the reason for me blogging about all this is because i want people that may be thinking about getting it, to hear a first hand account. yes, that first night was the worst i have felt EVER in my entire life, but it's in the past now. consider it labor pains for the new me. and right now, oh so worth it.

weight 329.8 lbs 

-back to the future dominator

choke a dragon...

i feel like i can choke a dragon dragon with my bare hands. this is insane, the amount of energy i'm waking up with. ok, one of my secret weapons is nutella.  i'm not supposed to have something with that much fat, but it's tasty and kills any and every craving for something sweet.

i want to ride BADLY... but, i won't until i can take advil again. i can't do that until, solid food, so it will be a month. which is good cuz once i can, i'll be unstoppable. i haven't felt this good in the morning (with no caffeine) in probably 5 years? 

the surgery pain only bothers me when i sneeze or blow my nose. it hurts a lot when i bend over to my left side to put my socks on or tie my shoe too. the nurse said they put a mesh over where they did the surgery to prevent a hernia and that would cause some discomfort for a while. i'm dealing with it all with absolutely no drugs, not even a tylenol. so, it hurts, but not all the time.

-dragon choking dominator

ENN-ERR-GIZZZZZED...

omg, i have no idea where all this energy is coming from? well, i kinda know. let's just say this is a "natural" feeling i haven't had in while. i practically leaped outta bed this morning with no help from coffee, which itself, is kinda new. i haven't had a nap or even felt sleepy. this must be what "normal" feels like LOL. those that saw me today were like "you look like the best i've seen you in years" well, i guess when you feel good you look good too. 

my brain is racing with "the future" and possibilities. i was like "i should be a cycling coach" i love helping people and i love cycling, soooo??? i don't know if i will but who knows what i'll do once i start getting back in shape again.

video game players know this concept of "leveling up your character" i feel like i had to "level up" gain weight, to acquire the "tool" surgery, so when i level back down i'll be unstoppable because i'm wielding a tool only meant for higher level players. if you've never played a RPG i've probably completely lost you in the analogy. the point is this: you can't get the surgery unless you're obese. but after you have the surgery, you have this tool to lose weight that no one else has. and it's ONE HELL OF A TOOL. i'm imagining not being able to sabotage my success just because your "fiancee amputated your soul".

add to that, a certain friend of mine cajoled me into "checking out the field" on match. this is a crazy day. for realz though, i am NOT about to starting paying to contact potential dates. because i'm not really myself yet. i mean i can't even have solid food until october. i can see it now, me at dinner with pretty lady and she orders her food, and i'm like "i'll just have the iced tea" LOL. don't think so :) but it was kinda cool to see who's out there. there are A LOT of people "looking". something i know that most of those people on match, or in life for that matter don't know. and is this, relationships are hard, they take work, and they are built with mutual trust and caring. looks, and likes, and favorites have VERY little to do with a relationship succeeding. even if there is a spark, it has to be kindled slowly over time and this takes work and a selflessness that many people just aren't mature enough to give.

that's my soapbox on that.

-energized dominator

everyday better than last...

i have resisted the urge to drink coffee. this is important because of the things i consumed on an everyday basis for years is coffee. i love it. but, i can see everyday me having more energy than the last without it. i know i will drink it again, but i think i'll wait until i start eating solid food (4 weeks from today)

now, i've been sending "testers" down the gullet every day. so to say i've not had ANY solid food wouldn't be truthful. i'm not eating steak or burgers and i won't tell you exactly what it is for fear you'll go against dr. orders and try it too. lets just say, i'm living with the failures of my "experiments" and the successes LOL... 

i'm envisioning me riding before work again, which i LOVED to do. and envisioning doing lots of other things i liked to do.

-envisioning dominator

no shortcuts only trade-offs...

(1 week 2 days post op) because this is a public website and anyone can read it (current/future employers) there some things i simply can't/won't talk about. which is why i haven't posted anything the last few days. some of you know what i'm talking about and others will never know. don't worry, i'll get back to regular updates soon enough.

332.8 lbs

-no more short cuts dominator

vita-mix = life saver...

(5 days post op) as i LITERALLY crawled out of bed this morning after only consuming a total of 350 calories the last 2 days. i decided to move up my "opaque" liquid consumption from monday to today. this decision, quite literally, improved my life. why only 350 calories? because it's all i could do to swallow without it causing my stomach to ache. so, i avoided swallowing anything. yes, i know i have to eat to live but if you know, without question that swallowing will cause you pain, you'll stop.

this morning i got the idea that when the blender arrived, i would take a can of soup and blend the shit out of it and try to sip it down. well, that's exactly what i did. sip, sip, sip and little pain. oh my god, that was a game changer. i think i have officially turned the corner and my spirits are a lot better.

-vita mixing dominator