ENN-ERR-GIZZZZZED...

omg, i have no idea where all this energy is coming from? well, i kinda know. let's just say this is a "natural" feeling i haven't had in while. i practically leaped outta bed this morning with no help from coffee, which itself, is kinda new. i haven't had a nap or even felt sleepy. this must be what "normal" feels like LOL. those that saw me today were like "you look like the best i've seen you in years" well, i guess when you feel good you look good too. 

my brain is racing with "the future" and possibilities. i was like "i should be a cycling coach" i love helping people and i love cycling, soooo??? i don't know if i will but who knows what i'll do once i start getting back in shape again.

video game players know this concept of "leveling up your character" i feel like i had to "level up" gain weight, to acquire the "tool" surgery, so when i level back down i'll be unstoppable because i'm wielding a tool only meant for higher level players. if you've never played a RPG i've probably completely lost you in the analogy. the point is this: you can't get the surgery unless you're obese. but after you have the surgery, you have this tool to lose weight that no one else has. and it's ONE HELL OF A TOOL. i'm imagining not being able to sabotage my success just because your "fiancee amputated your soul".

add to that, a certain friend of mine cajoled me into "checking out the field" on match. this is a crazy day. for realz though, i am NOT about to starting paying to contact potential dates. because i'm not really myself yet. i mean i can't even have solid food until october. i can see it now, me at dinner with pretty lady and she orders her food, and i'm like "i'll just have the iced tea" LOL. don't think so :) but it was kinda cool to see who's out there. there are A LOT of people "looking". something i know that most of those people on match, or in life for that matter don't know. and is this, relationships are hard, they take work, and they are built with mutual trust and caring. looks, and likes, and favorites have VERY little to do with a relationship succeeding. even if there is a spark, it has to be kindled slowly over time and this takes work and a selflessness that many people just aren't mature enough to give.

that's my soapbox on that.

-energized dominator