2nd ride...

wow, i have to say that after this second ride i feel like an amputee that woke and found this limb re-attached. this is an extreme metaphor but it's the closest i can get to describing what riding feels like to me. in short i feel alive. that beast, that alter-ego named "dominator" has been given breath again.

the only thing keeping me from riding more is how sore my saddle gets. excruciating??? doesn't even come close to describing the pain. even after hours of being off the bike i still feel throbbing pain in my hands feet and nether area. and THIS is only after 3 miles of riding around the block. i gots a long way to go but the journey has begun.

-ass cramped dominator

cleared to ride... OUTSIDE...

saw ole doc Montgomery today. let's see the bullet points are.

1. my knee is still paining and swollen because of bone swelling
2. my weight is not helping my knee heal
3. cleared to swim (always have been)
4. cleared to ride outside
5. he's not touching my right knee. just have to live with it

that's about it.

bone swelling? i didn't know bones swell but they do. long explanation but it has to do with the number of holes that have been drilled into my femur and tibia over the years. my weight is making the healing slower. ALOT slower and he explained why and mechanically what is happening.

he's not touching the right knee because it is only hurting because it's over-compensating for the left one. his PT Surge (from france) let me know why the part of my knee was hurting and some mental exercises to help alleviate the pain. like finding a song with cadence that matches my own and take a walk around the block making sure i step with the beat. this will force an even amount of time on each leg.

well bottom line is i will start riding this weekend if not sooner. the blog should get more interesting soon.

-soon to be riding dominator

deepest fear...

right now that fear is that i won't be able to lose the weight and get back to being "me" again. i am making a list of healthy things like to eat. i went to lowes today to replace my "death" oven. this way i won't have excuses to not be cooking. my best friends dad passed and this gave me a little perspective in my self absorbed life. so i'm going to stop beating myself up. i bought some goggles and more flip flops and towels to fill up my swim bag. so now i have to 2 bags with gear to spin or swim. now i just have to start using it. after my dr. visit i'll be able to do a better job of planning activities. right now both knees f--ked. one is STILL swollen and the other gives out when going down stairs. hopefully doc monte will be able to fix me up.

-2 busted knee dominator

what is your deepest fear...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson

-coach carter watching dominator

10 days...

10 days since last post? well every time i decided to write something i realized there was nothing really new to say. my knee still hurts i stopped going to rehab, and my ass is still fat. this week i feel will be a little different. i am realizing there are some things i am just going to have to do with pain. that said, i will try and swim starting in a few weeks. i want to give my knee a couple more weeks of healing.

this thing in the back of my head is still there. the old dominator is still alive in there. why do i continue this blog even though i am in the worst shape of my life? why do i keep buying cycling gear and cycling t-shirts? so that it will always be a visible reminder i have unfinished work to do. i have to start to do something and will very soon. you can believe that.

-introspective dominator

2 o'clock no lunch special...

decided NO MO PT FOR ME...

i don't think they can help me any more than they have. there is swelling in there and until it's gone i will be upset at my progress there. i am starting to argue with the therapist about what is think is helpful and what i think is a waste. couple my knowledge of mechanical engineering, triathlon training and having had 5 knee surgeries there are some things i understand about my body. so if i'm telling you what you're making me do has very little benefit for fixing my problem YOU SHOULD LISTEN. but that's ok. she won't be seeing me any more.

just like i know dr. Monte KNOWS how to fix my knee i KNOW pt until my knee stops swelling is wasting my time. i need to be focusing on flexibility and stretching. there is plenty of time for strength and i'm tired of arguing so NO MO.

so where do i go from here. more stretching everyday, and going to start going to 24hour at lunch and try to use their spin bikes. i figure if i ask nicely they will let me. the regular bikes are crap so i'm hoping they will hook a brutha up. oh well, as always stay tuned.

on another note, i got some chinese on my way home and stopped at my spot Jimmy's Sesame House. this arab looking cab driver parked next to me taking up 2 spots and almost knocked me over on my way in. as i open the door i hear him order beef n broccoli lunch special (it's 7pm) then (i call him) Jimmy says "2 o'clock no lunch special" the cab driver says "i ask lunch. you sell lunch." then jimmy repeats "2 o'clock no lunch special" cabby "y no lunch? how much conventional dinner" (yes he said conventional) jimmy "3 dolla' more" cabby "i ask lunch YOU SELL ME LUNCH NO 3 dolla more" then i pushed him aside and paid for my food, when i left they were still arguing.

Man, nothing brightened my day more than a broken english argument.

-"no lunch special" dominator

shamu the triathlete...

lets see. the question d'jour is how's the knee. you know, i hate that question. i never know what to say because i'm visibly unhappy with my progress yet i AM making progress. all i really want to do is wake up and go for a ride first thing like i used to. but i digress.

after the EROR2 debacle i decided to buy some shorts that fit and keep a bag ready in the car with workout gear. to my dismay i found that pearl stopped making xxxl shorts and only make xxl. so i ordered a pair of bib shorts xxl. they came in friday and they fit perfectly. clarence is going to see if he can get a couple more. in the meantime i found a company that made Shamu some bib shorts :^D you didn't know Shamu was a triathlete? he kills the swim (of course) but his bike time is a little slower :^D but seriously they make up to xxxxxl (64 in) waist. they have mountain bike shorts and regular shorts so i picked up 3 different kinds at xxxl. the look like the chinese super cheapy shorts but hey i'm not expecting to be in them long.

-Shamu shorts dominator