been off a while. ok, a LONG while. i ended working with the cycling coach because i found more excuses to "not go today" than to man up and just go. in my lousy defense the weather was really crappy in the mornings for a long while. however most of those days "da dominator" would have gone alone in the morning with no one even knowing about it.
to be perfectly honest i decided to just rest my mind and not give a crap for a long time hoping i'd decide to "come back" on my own. there is a small spark there where there hasn't been since 2006. I'd say October 2006 is when that flame started to dim and was pretty much fully extinguished sometime in the fall of 2008. ever since then, even with me writing in this blog to the contrary, i've been faking it. HOPING that if i faked it enough the spark would reignite on it's own. a week in may of 2009 it lit up then went away. two weeks in June 2010 it was there then morphed into "i need to find another job" which i did find (wtg spark LOL)
Now we are at NOW. just a small spark, nothing really all that significant except that it's pure. i was hesitant to say anything but i just wanted to share where i've been and what's going on. with how i feel right now, i would say in a week it's just as likely that it'll be gone again as that the spark has grown bigger.
i'll leave you with this. nothing anybody says, no matter how caring, logical, loving or smart will have any effect on how i will feel in a week. this feeling has to grow or die organically. the soil is rough so let's hope for the best :^D
-sparked dominator
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